Hi, my name is Angela. I'm a recovering alcoholic, eating disorder sufferer, abuse survivor and ex-atheist. I felt the need to create a new place to write. My old space held a lot of dark baggage and I was struggling to write freely. I don't want to let go of my old domain just yet because it's a chronicle of the darkness I've lived in. A lot has changed and I want to detach a bit from the "old me" without forgetting who she is.
As of today, I've been sober for 74 days. I hate that I had to start over.....but I'm beginning to realize that recovery is both simple and complicated. It's a choice that I make daily, but it isn't something that I can do in my own power. At the end of the day I can't take credit for my sobriety, yet I can be proud of my own part in it. I'm not a hardcore AA'er but I have a deep respect and love for the program. I didn't find my freedom solely through the steps. At the risk of sounding like a Christianeesy lunatic....I found my freedom through Jesus. A small part of me is in a panic over writing that sentence just now.
It recently dawned on me that my preoccupation with God is part of what's keeping me sober. Faith does not come easy for me. I. Question. Everything! Church terrifies me, the Christian community baffles me, the Bible intrigues me....yet the Holy Spirit pulls me close, reins me in. The more I focus on figuring this God stuff out, the less desire I have to destroy myself. Funny how that works, huh?
